“You hurt my feelings!” yelled my daughter as she crumpled into a sobbing heap on the floor. It started innocently enough. Like most of my days since becoming a mother nearly eleven years ago, the day had been filled with meeting the demands and needs of others: an eight-hour workday in a hectic real estate law department and the second shift at home as cook, secretary, homework assistant, housekeeper … well, you know exactly what I mean – any day in the life of a mother. And I was desperate for a little time all by myself to unwind with just a little crafty piddling. Handling fabric, needle and thread can be a retreat, like any craft or hobby you truly enjoy, and I wanted the experience, no, I needed this experience all to myself.
So moments earlier I’d tiptoed past my daughter, who was busy on the laptop, into my sewing room and began to cut border strips for a pillow top. Minutes later, having barely gotten started, I’d been discovered in my hiding place. Wanting in on the fun, my daughter begged me to let her cut the strips with the rotary cutter, a new gadget for her. Not wanting to share and frustrated because my solitude had been compromised, I’d snapped “This is why I tried to sneak in here without you knowing it!” Hence, the crumpled sobbing heap on my floor.
I was still anxious and frustrated, but more emotions started to creep in – guilt and shame. As a parent, it is my responsibility, and it should be my honor, to let my child learn from me and work alongside of me, but I so often discourage it, even resent it, yet my heavenly Father never treats me this way. The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him (Lam 3:25 NLT). He actually invites me to come alongside of Him and learn of Him! (Mat 11:28-30) What an awesome God we serve!
I believe God calls me to time alone to study His Word, seek Him, worship and thank Him. I believe He also calls me to be a loving, teaching, patient mother to my daughter. Faithful is He that calleth you, who also will do it (1 Thes 5:24 KJV). If He calls me to it, He will see me through it!
Heavenly Father, thank You for always being there for me. Help me to find a healthy balance between time with others and time alone. In Jesus’ name. Amen.